Octomom’s getting her own show? WTF!

Where do reality TV wanna-bes go when no station will take them?

Apparently UStream, which is the company that has signed a six-figure deal with Octomom, Nadya Suleman.  She will stream a live show from her home every Sunday, and bless us with her pearls of wisdom about topics like, shopping, diet/nutrition, fitness, parenting (that’s like getting parenting tips from Brooke Mueller), and the three-years-ago rumors that were being circulated about her.

Now, call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure no one’s given a rat’s ass about her since she had a yard sale where she sold her own used panties (can we invent a word for the ick level on this one), to save her house.

Some may say locking in six figures is a lot of money, but lets be real here people, after getting groceries and everything else her 14 kids need, I doubt she’s clearing a significant profit.

UStream gets an Iron Thumb for shelling out money on this reproductive nightmare, naively thinking that she’ll be able to maintain a large audience week after week.  I’m pretty sure this will be one show we won’t be sad about missing.

http://www.tmz.com/2011/12/08/octomom-ustream-contract-show/

Sports, Sex and Scandals, OH MY!

At this point, even people who have no interest in sports have heard about Jerry Sandusky and the media tornado that surrounds his alleged abuse of young boys.  This should shock us, but after a rough couple of years for the Catholic church and similar allegations against priests, it seems as if scandals of this type are becoming more unsurprising and a disgustingly regular occurrence.

Not to be left out of that media storm, Rob Francis, coach of the St. Petersburg College (FL) baseball team has been arrested for sending nude photos to, and driving to a location to have sex with, what he thought was a 14 year old girl, but turned out to be a cop.  DUMMY!

Has he never watched an episode of “To Catch A Predator” with Chris March??!!  Even more unfortunate is  the shame he’s put on his wife and child, and the negative attention for the college.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/08/rob-francis-st-petesrburg_n_1136500.html?ref=college

What is happening to the world?!  Seriously, people. GET IT TOGETHER!

Rob Francis gets an Iron Thumb for being a low-life, disgusting human being.  Period.

Enjoy his mugshot below:

VA Tech: what f*** is going on?!

In breaking news, a gunman has torn through campus, killing two, including one police officer.  AGAIN.

No jokes being made, because nothing is more tragic than lives being taken by an unstable individual.

But this happening again, in such a short period of time after what happened  in 2007, begs the question: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING AT V.A. TECH?!

This is another blow for a slowly healing community.   My thoughts go out to those affected by this terrible event.

Mariah Yeater, your baby daddy ain’t Bieber

With a laundry list of poor judgment trailing behind her, Mariah Yeater has made her first intelligent decision since prior to getting knocked up: she’s dropped the suit against Justin Bieber that claims he’s the father of her child.

Now, unless you’ve lived under a rock for the last few weeks, you know the story: she was plucked from obscurity at a concert, escorted backstage where she and the Biebs engaged in a rapid, virginity- stealing sexual encounter in a backstage bathroom that resulted in the child in question.

And lets not forget the documentation that informs us of Ms. Purity’s previous claims of paternity against an ex-boyfriend.  But, Miss light bright forged on and made an appearance on The Insider, claiming that “without a doubt” JB is the father of her baby.

Me thinks the lady is full of shit, because if she were so certain, there would be no dropping of the suit, and Biebs would be en-route to a  sterile room with an oversized Q-tip as we speak.  But, I guess she FINALLY realized that this ugly path she was on would only get uglier if she continued. This, my friends, is the smartest move she’s made in recent history.

But, it will not stop her from getting an Iron Thumb for not only going against the Bieber machine, but also for exposing herself as the incredibly stupid, leg-spreading chick she is.  Perhaps she’ll have better luck on Maury.

Chump of the day: explosive-wielding ass

That title is literal. Seriously.  A Croatian man may be  facing criminal charges after he showed up in the ER with a cannon shell hanging from his anus.

Yup, as part of a (unique unto him) sex game, he got the butt cannon (pun intended) stuck up his derriere and headed to the hospital to get professional help in extracting it.

Apparently the issue is not having sex with explosive, but owning it. Go figure. Maybe next time he’ll use harmless household objects instead.

http://gawker.com/5857813/man-gets-cannon-shell-stuck-up-his-butt-now-faces-other-problems

Croatian dude, do your thing in the bedroom, but you still get an Iron Thumb for becoming a literal ass-rocket, and for putting yourself in hot water legally just to get your jollies off.

Mariah Yeater, what’s your plan for the hole you’re digging?

It looks as if Mariah Yeater is beginning her media circuit, stopping  by The Insider last night to talk about her quest to name Justin Bieber as her baby daddy.

Catch the video here:

http://www.theinsider.com/gossip/46054_Mariah_Yeater_Admits_Still_Being_Scared/index.html

Of course, she’s cleaned up her look, taking out her numerous piercings to appear virtuous and motherly on TV (fat chance of that!) although if you peek at her nails, she still struggled to match up her polish.

And another of course, there are plenty of tears to go around, and she admits to being scared.  As she should!  From what I can tell, she really has no clue how dedicated Bieber fans can be (and lets not forget those lawyers of his too).

Mariah Yeater, you are becoming a thumb favorite.  She gets an Iron Thumb for having the audacity to get on national TV to share her full of shit story, shed tears like she doesn’t know how this is going to end, and continue to make herself look like an asshole.

Kim vs. Kris: the fallout begins?

Not one to waste any time, Kim Kardashian has stopped following soon to be ex-husband Kris Humphries on twitter.  (gasp)

Now she has a little more “personal space” to air her grievances about her epically failed marriage to her committed fans.

I’m thinking that if Kris was unsure of whether or not Kim was serious before (because sometimes filing for divorce doeesn’t send a clear enough message) being unfollowed on twitter should bring him around.

Still, on top of all of the other ridiculous drama Kim’s actions have stirred in the web-wide world, this cheesy, 7th grade move is completely asinine.

So, Kim K. gets an Iron Thumb (the second in as many days) for having the maturity of a tadpole.